Rising Tides

Rising Tides
The feeling of uneasiness is on the rise.. for me anyways.
And it has been rising since I landed in Canada like a dripping tap.
Perhaps its not even a rising tide that is occurring, maybe its Chinese drip torture

No matter what it is. There are drips. They are rising in numbers and they are torturing me.
The drips are translucent and when you look through them you see a blurred picture of what's really behind them - the source. I can feel the drops. I can feel them coming and I can feel them mounting. But I can only see a blurred picture of the source.

And this is why, with no particular conclusion in mind I am blogging again.
While I was regular in reflecting on my experiences in Kenya I have not allowed myself the opportunity to do so since back here at home. Of course for a long list of reasons, as their always is when your not doing what you want to be doing, are a clear to me in this circumstance. Puzzling though, is how I, and I am sure many others, have thought- in an moment lacking much reflection that life in Kenya was much more interesting and worth while to blog about then that in Canada (especially being my place of birth similar to many of my readers).

Yet, what was in Kenya as well as my existence there were clear to me. So to were my feelings and reactions. Here, at home this is no longer the case, and really never has been. And here, in the most simplistic of ways, leaning my realities side by side, it would appear something's up with life in Canada, and it needs to recognized. I am now only more concern and more puzzled about my identity. And this is not solely because of my experience abroad being contrasted to life here but truly by... life here. I am concern about being puzzled and puzzled about being concerned.

It might be thought that I just don't know what I want in life. But I do in fact. What I want in life is inner happiness and peace of mind. When it comes down that is all I want. I'm sure that things like good health is something I desire - but again - only if it brings inner happiness and peace of mind - because, yes, that's all that really matters to me.

People out there? Do you want peace of mind and inner happiness as much as I do? Can you ever imagine sieving through all the shit out there to make life all about peace of mind and inner happiness? It's what I dream about, but in reality there is a lot of shit out there that must be sieve out to achieve this, and perhaps removing all of it is just to large of an aspiration. But how close can one get?

While away in Kenya, I was able to think about my life as it existed in Canada in a very positive light. However I believed it was framed through the areas in which those I met in Kenya found value, such as education, government and job opportunities, in which Canada's resume was pretty sparkling. And yes, thank goodness for all of these things for they have opened the doors for many of us, but perhaps they haven't brought us to greener pastures in every way.

I have been leading and participating in a program called UNLEARN here at the University of Waterloo, in a community where educational resources are of plenty and job opportunities are well aligned. But what about the people? Many of the people are depressed, stressed out and in many ways unhappy. While UNLEARN gave me an opportunity to hear people share their insecurities, pains and frustrations, I always knew these existed in my peer community. How did I forget about what lay in front, beside and behind the golden door of opportunity in Canada. Pain and suffering still exists in Canada, but it is not decorated and shown off as opportunity is. However it is the exact opposite for Kenya as pain and suffering are decorated and shown to the world while opportunity remains hidden by the spotlighted gloom.

I believe I feel the rising tide and the pain of the drops in some ways because I have come home to the land of the golden door and left the land of the spotlighted gloom - only to feel as though I have left the land of a golden door opening to peace of mind and inner happiness and entered the world of hidden gloom.

I don't believe I have yet to explore or understand all of my sources of uneasiness but the things are becoming a little more clear.

When Opportunity Was at My Door

... the last thing i wanted was to get sick

It is not very often that i feel that i am working at 100% capacity (yes this make shock some of you who think i don't take time to breath) and perhaps no human being should. But it is my nature to rev my engine and step things into high gear when ever possible. Thus my usual aim: 80-90% just avoiding utter burn out. The last 2-3 weeks I have had to downshift into low gear. While being sick was a clearly uncomfortable experience the greater pain was being held back and forces to pull back on my involvement. I was forces to look for a balance between activity and recovery but found myself generally overly frustrated at the results (something to look into improving in the future? perhaps). I did decide to narrow my expectations and absorb 100% of the joy from each of them.

Changes/New Focuses:
-find even small joys in every moment
-make enjoying the process, and everything around me the #1 priority and the rest will follow
-when I am healthy again not to push to hard to arrive at the next level. (I think this worked!)

As I was sick for quite some time (from my first clinic visit to my final check up a total of 4 weeks) I had a fair bit of time to ponder about how I was feeling so for those who are interested I will proceed with my bed rest life lessons.

1. you cannot do it alone (anything really but especially this). My sickness (resulting from large amounts of gastro-bacteria resulting in ulcers) had really been crippling and in through it all I am so thankful to have 3 great roommates a caring supervisor and a wonderful Kenyan stranger who took care of me when he found me barfing at the side of the road (pleasant isn't it). HUGE shout outs to my dear friend and traveling comrade Conor who not only helped me get to the hospital in both urgent situations but returned to the hospital to pick up meds and made me feel comforted every other day along the way. THANKS EVERYONE (additional love shout out to my family at home who showered me with good wishes and love in the form of very informative e-mails)

2. The urgency of the situation. I was very lucky to be able to get a car to pick me up quite quickly and speed me off to the hospital. Having lost almost all the liquids in my body I was very dehydrated and ready to pass out. I am sure conditions would have worsened if I was not treated in good time. This has really made me think about the people of the slums - most who would struggle to pay for a car hire and would have to use much slower means. It's scary really.

3. I have noticed my, perhaps inherently human desire to see the fruits of my labour and weep some of what I sow. Pre-sickness I had laid the building blocks (with the help of others) for both our mothers gathering at the Afema therapy center and for our sports launch for the non-formal schools. Sitting in bed I knew they were now ready to go on without me but I still desperately desired to be out there with them celebrating in the moment. I felt slightly distraught at the thought that my involvement may be forgotten, slowly fading away, after i had worked hard to collect with the support of many donors to purchase the material for the sports programing. I know I need to work on giving myself internal praise and being happy with my accomplishments and the good that is done rather than looking to others for this.

Without a doubt the hardest thing about being sick was missing out on the moments that had passed. When every day here brings so much more knowledge, understanding, opportunity for change and happiness it is hard to be stuck inside for walls.


The good news is... 
1. I decided to give a big internal push and get myself to the sports launch to see things for an hour or two - and i was very glad i did
2. We will be holding another mothers gathering at Afema at the end of this month.
3. I went for my final check up today and I am A.OKAY. although I will still have to be strict
with my non-acidic diet.

the future looks bright and full of opportunity
and in hindsight getting sick was a unique opportunity of its own.

Reinventing Community ("Boma")

Every Wednesday I volunteer at Boma Rescue - a day center for youth who have been orphaned or run away from home at some time. The center incorporates counseling, studies, recreation and cultural dance. The key thing about Boma is it is a place where kids can be kids, be cared for and feel safe. Eventually after a year of rehabilitation Boma Rescue will work to find funds to sponsor the children to return to school.

Trying to describe the feeling the kids a Boma gave me I thought of 'happy tears' in the past.

Happy because the kids are (generally) so happy and making leaps and bounds in their personal development and studies. Tears because I know these things were stolen from them for far to long - taken at the hands of others.

Today I only feel pride when I think of the kids at Boma.

They have truly risen to the opportunity and are developing into bright thinkers with good character. While the challenges outside the walls of Boma rescue will surely bring many struggles I feel so compelled to believe they will continue to strive to rise to the many occasions ahead with a light heart, passion and confidence.

Quickly I will speak about what exactly I do at Boma Rescue.

1. Home visits. I travel with one of their two social workers to the houses of the youth that are attending Boma Rescue to assess the living situation and what role the family (sometimes youth return to their homes or may live with their aunts,uncles or grandparents). Sometimes we have to travel for around 45-1hr on foot to arrive at the houses of the youth (a trip they take twice every day).

2. School visits. We have visited St.Vincent de Paul's school to check on the attendance of the youth who had passed through Boma Rescue and been sponsored to go to school. *There were about 40 at this school that had passed through Boma Rescue*. We have also visited a school that the head of Boma Rescue is on the Board of directors with and spent the day with them. This is  a non formal school. Like some others I have visited, was made of scrap metal with cardboard walls. This school was also unique as it a co-op project between the families and the teachers.

3. Recreation/HAVING FUN :) Today we played the game where you have to move from one side of the field to the other with your team using only a few mats and not stepping off them as you move towards the finish line. (this may only make sense to the people who have played the game). The best part about it was we had to play with news paper pages... which were ripped into small pieces by the time teams neared the finish line and were often found blowing in the wind, adding a whole new challenge! This of course is just one of the fun activities. Tire races, tire hopping, running races, human tug-of-war, some crazy long-jump like game and make believe house play are also favorites.

4. Cultural Dance. Originally this was just straight out embarrassing. Yes, I got laughed at a lot for my inability to shake my tush and wiggle my hips in African style. But now it is one of my favorite parts of the day. The youth at Boma Rescue absolutely love dancing so I am so happy to join in and it is one very good work out!

( I guess that wasn't as quickly as you may have hoped, but believe me I could go on forever about this place and the youth)

I do want to speak a bit more about the youth at Boma. Particularly I want to share with you the stories of some of the children that I met with big smiles on their faces while they embraced me with big hugs at my arrival. Through these stories I hope you can understand why I am so proud of them.

Beautiful Child:  Internally Displaced Person. Following the post election violence this AMAZING child was separated from both of his parents. He is not sure if they are alive of not but he has not been in contact with them since nor does he know where they may be. He had been homeless for 3 years and was found sleeping in a gutter.


Beautiful Child: After his mother attempted to commit suicide without success she then attempted to poison her family. The one Beautiful child discovered that his mom had poisoned their food he stopped his family from eating it. The mom has now left but before doing so threatened negative action to the child who had spotted her.

Beautiful Child: Mother has HIV and father has passed away. The fathers parents (child's grandparents) which to inherit the child (potentially for child labour).


Beautiful Child: Escaped child trafficking (being used for child labour) at the age of 5. Was also drugged by an adult around this time

Beautiful Child: Father died and mothers where abouts are unknown

Beautiful Child: Escaped child trafficking where the child was making Changa (potent type of home brew) to buy food and soda. Current (not birth) father does not accept him as his own child.

many of these children have been on the streets for 2 months to 4 years - almost all under the age of 15.

The safari (journey) which they have traveled has been marked not by merely bumps in the road but barbed wire and treacherous paths and yet they have not stoped or given up hope. I wish that they may be able to take their futures into their hands and out of the hands of medeling others and reach each of their true potentials. 

please send your thoughts of compassion to these children so that they may feel the love that so many people around the world have for them- not because you pity their situation but because you are proud of all they have done. 

if you wish to sponsor this program or any others that have been mentioned through my blogs please do not hesiate to let me know through confidential e-mail at erglofch@uwaterloo.ca and we will see what we an do :)

To Delight in the Life of a Child

Three days a week my heart is re-opened to be shaken and stirred by a select group of individuals.
Each time my heart returns changed. At times for the better and at times for the worse.
Dadashe, St. Maurus, Afema are the places at which physical strengthening is facilitated and emotional well being can sprout. These three organizations cater to the youth and the families of the slims that without a doubt face the greatest struggles of all. Mentally and/or physically these children are unlike the 'normal' child. They are unlike the 'normal' child who assists in the physical livelihood of the family. Where money really does buy the pillars under which happiness may grow (medicine, food, a roof over your head) these children are seen to be of little value as their ability to provide such are slim.

Both Dadashe and Afema are therapy centers which I am working at, providing therapy to youth between the ages of 5 months to 11 years of age, along side an occupational therapist. St. Maurus is a 'special school'. While I am there I am also working along side a occupational therapist from 9:30-1:00 and from 1:00-4:00 I spend my time in the classroom assisting with what ever programing they have running or spearheading some activities on my own.

I have now been working a these facilities for two weeks, and slowing the idea of what it means to be disabled in Kenya is emerging. Early on in this journey of discovery I found myself asking; what makes a child beautiful? Where does the love for a child come from and through what can this love persevere? What role does the life of the mother play in the life of the child ('take care of yourself, take care of others')?

When I think about the relationships which I have developed and greatly cherish in Canada I think about the celebrations. What others may deem to be small achievements we recognized as huge mountain accents and celebrated as celebration was due. The things these youth accomplished were grand feats in a environment and history that continually pulled them back. Such celebrations are not alive and well here in Kenya. The reality is that the environment is more harsh and restricting for these youth and the damaging negative stigma towards these youth (and adults) seems to continue to engulf all that is life. This stigma, which I feel should be referred to as a misunderstanding, keeps these children indoors, isolated and lacking socialization. The stigma is not isolated in the youth but spreads to the whole family leaving what I see to be over 50% of mothers as single mothers, and also isolated by family, friends and neighbors.

I hope to in time write a full blog focused on the topic of religion, as it is a very powerful, governing force in Kenya. In the meantime I wish to share a few thoughts about religion as they connect to the lives of these children with disabilities and their families. As I have openly shared with many very curious people in Kenya, and I will now share with the cyber world - I do not consider myself religious nor do I tie myself to one religion. I find value in many of the teachings of religion, but I also see the damage that seems to result of religion as well, thus I choose to internalize teachings, pulling from them what I believe to be powerful positive aspects and finding a more spiritual route. Religious beliefs in Kenya are without a doubt having a negative impact on the lives of the children I am working with (I cannot say for certain that there are not some positive impacts of religion too, but to date I have not seen such things). Following the belief that God is our creator, some mothers I have the opportunity to speak intimately with relayed that children with disabilities (specifically their child with a disability) was a punishment from God. What is the reason for accepting such a belief when it is pulling a good woman down? In many cases I have seen that religion exists as a force to provide hope and promote good doing in this area, however in this case this is far from the truth.

This week my colleague at Afema embraced a new idea of mine with open arms. We will be holding a small gathering, not for therapy for the children, but for therapy for the mothers and fathers. The mothers (primarily) and fathers need to be the fighting force which believes in the success of their children and breaks down the existence of stigma. This gathering will be an opportunity for mothers to openly share the struggles they face, and the success they have had with other mothers. For mothers to find a source of support in a community which continually shuts them out. As well as an opportunity to educate the mothers on basic therapy activities and socialization. The mothers and fathers will be the changing force in the lives of the children and they need to be helped as much as their children. I will be purchasing milk for all of the families who attending this gathering (yes a bribe) because the truth is that if we do not offer something to the mothers they will not come. They are in such dire need to put food on the table that spending time on anything else to them seems insignificant and useless. I can't blame them for this (although I do see fault in this belief) and have committed to provide maize and flour next month if it means the opportunity to educate mothers.

One mother in particular that has driven me to action told me that she has lost hope in her child, she is unable to see any improvement in her child, or delight in their life - it was very clear that she felt she was at the end of the road and her care for her child was a river running dry.

On a more joyful note I had a euphoric moment this week at St. Maurus School that I am so grateful for. While sitting at the teachers table, listening to Swahili gospel music, and looking through the window. I saw nothing other than a beautiful environment where kids laughed, shared and learned. Inside the walls of St.Maurus nothing else mattered than the lives of those children and celebrating the moments we were able to share together. At that moment I happily ignored the world beyond those walls. For that moment I delighted in remaining blissfully unaware. With the departure of a German volunteer, we celebrated the moments he had shared within those walls with soda cheers, chappoo and the continuous blowing up and popping of balloons. I will in time have some pictures of this day to share with them and I promise you when you see these pictures you will wonder how someone could ever hate such a child, see them as a punishment from God or choose to shun them from their lives. Although I know we cannot ignore the world outside of those walls, for that moment it was a absolute joy to say to hell with them - lets celebrate and cherish these children as beautiful as they are.  

Like a fountain may we bubble over and release the nourishing entities which fill us so that others may be flourish in their gift, knowing that again we will be filled so that again we may bubble over on the people surrounding us.

Mtu ni Watu 'persons are people'

this saying stands strong even when vast spaces of land divide us
the needs of people, the wants, the emotions, the friendships, the desire for love, hope and compassion

but it is amazing how differently we live out our lives

I have been able to draw so many parallels between the triumphs and defeats of the people of Kenya and the people of Canada; we our proud of our countries, strive for positive change, want to share and learn from others to better ourselves and our communities, we have areas of segregation and anger, we have youth who have negative experiences with traditional education and on wards. Yet, Kenya has opened my eyes to how our countries are in different stages of development and so very different..

Myself, Sam-antha, Sebastien (said with a french accent) and Conor have settled in the community of riverside, in the Baba Dogo slums, Kenya. This is an apartment community which would be considered one of the better off areas. Surrounding us is Kariobangi which borders us, Mathare also borders us and is home to approximately 500,000 people. With the work we do we will be traveling into all of these areas.

Education for Life's 2 offices are found in Kariobangi. They are a 20 minute walk down the main road and are on the 3rd story of a building shared with a VERY wide variety of companies, shops, and even a school, all in the midst of what seems to be a high concentration of welders *who weld with no or little protective equipment and send sparks flying into the path of passer byes*. Mathare looks like it goes on forever, it is a sight I never quite imagined.

One of the first questions we were asked by George, the organizer of Education for Life, was 'what did you think Kenya would be like?' and I don't think I ever had one clear vision of what Kenya would be like. I saw it as a diverse land of green open areas where there was beauty and freedom to roam, but lacking opportunities. In Nairobi I saw a booming area of prosperity which many people desired but few attained. In the slums I saw a slow life, with few possessions and little opportunity. My view of Kenya was shaped by movies, books, the internet and discussions. I think these things together created a fairly accurate depiction of the Kenya which I have thus far got to know. What is changing about my view of Kenya are these stories and teachings are coming to life before my eyes. I have to understand their ways, their reasons, the structure, how I fit it and where change must come and where change is already in progress.

I have already learned a lot from the short period of time I have been here. Most of this knowledge has been from observation or from my fellow co-workers at EFL. I would like to share with you some insights which I thought were very valuable (just a small hand full of all I have learned):

1. Child Laybour: trying to define child laybour in the slums of Kenya is no simplistic task. But it is rather interesting. To increase meaningful and productive young lives it is important to draw the line between work and laybour. When there is such a need for money, and where school (secondary) can be an added cost to a family it is not unusual for families to keep children out of school and put them to work instead. The definition for child laybour that is being formed is that when work takes away from a child's learning or opportunity to be a child.

2. The reality for persons with disabilities: I am sure that what I have read about online about persons with disabilities being hidden from the public, tied up, shunned and sent away to institutions is the reality of the area (although I have yet to see this with my own eyes). The amazing thing is that I have been connected to a group of parents who have children with disabilities have formed a support network together. I will be working with them so that they can understand their children's needs and how to facilitate holistic wellness with their children. I am happy to see a group of parents showing interest in bettering the lives of their disabled children. * I will be working with 3-4 different organizations, providing physical therapy to persons with disabilities - with this particular group I seem to be the only one providing this service).

3. Involving the Parents: involving the parents in the education of youth is big on the agenda of EFL and I think this is a great thing that is not often looked into. They are working towards facilitating active involvement of the parents in their youths education. This is currently no existent and because of this their is a lack of support and inspiration spread from the parents to the youth. I agree and believe that is important that not only are the youth inspired by their elders so that they can have the inspirational support network they need.

4. Empowerment: The focus of primary and secondary schools in Kenya are the basics of math, science and english.For EFL this is not enough and with their school programing (which all of us will be involved in *primarily sebastien) they strive primarily to inspire the youth to work hard achieve their dreams and break the mold. In their sessions they speak about real life. I am a huge believer that education will not go far without empowerment and I am so glad that EFL beliefs are in line with mine so well on this topic.


While I continue to learn lots I think I am continually struggling with a ying yang war between a head full of bad and a world full of good in many instances of life here in Kenya. While I know that neither will ever triumph over the other, a balance must be achieved. It is hard to trust people enough to make good friendships and connections with people outside of EFL and while I want to open up and befriend people here it is also very necessary to have a very watchful eye (for instance in some areas for work with delinquent youth in a Very low income area we have been advised to not carry anything, even of modest value with us). I want to give to the children and believe that they will respect what the share with us, but from experience we know that this relationship does not always work as we would have hoped as these children so desperately want the things we bring with us.


but for now this must be goodbye. I hope this small view into the lives of the people of the Kenya slums and the future ahead of them was helpful for you and you are excited to see my journey begining.

Again thank you for tuning in :)

goodbye for now for now from this mzungu 'white people'

with love from Kenya

steps

is this an end or a new beginning?

I have most definitely reaching a new landmark on this journey of mine, and thus I would like to take this opportunity to do a quick recap on what has been and how I got myself to this spot.  

I am impulsive, I like to dive into things (with some logic and a lot of heart) and make action happen. Thus when I applied to be in the Beyond Borders program I was doing just that... DIVING IN, again with some logic and a lot of heart. I still have no clue what part of my interview made our program director decided to accept my application. Was it my previous travel experience? My interest in helping others? My interest in working with people with disabilities and making prosthetics? I am not sure I will ever know, but I would like to think that she saw a glimpse of great potential for positive change within myself that would benefit from some direction. When I look at the other members of the program I see great diversity among us but perhaps that thread that ties us all together is the interest in developing our natural gifts and selves so that we can better serve others.

One of my fellow students once asked me (for a video he was putting together) what were three words I would use to describe the Beyond Borders program, and I think I came up with something like this...

- Connections
- Insight
- A-breath-of-fresh-air (I know not quite one word)
... looking back I might also say.... A-lot-o-hurdles (one word)

This program really has been a lot of things to myself. It's focus started on the issues of the past and some present around us in the world. While these things were complicated they were also for the most part historical fact (although in some cases intertwined with bias) and thus were easily tangible. As we continued to read through the course material, lead presentations and discuss what we had read we began to see gaps and areas of improvement both locally and abroad. These gaps seemed often vast and solutions were less tangible and hard to fathom. Following, we saw the development of red tape, not so much in the bureaucratic sense but rather red tape created by cultural norms, varying opinions, values ect. Will there ever be a solution that is acceptable to all and effective? That is hard to say, but what most people strive to find when attempting to make change.

I began to understand the world around me and value not only the 'doing' and act of making action but the value of learning and understanding the process and letting your understandings and your formation of solutions naturally evolve from the world around you.  I can't deny the fact that I really do not enjoy reading about things... but I have seen its value and will strive to involve it continually in my learning process.
While this stage (which was pretty much our first term) was interesting I have a very hard time committing to it and immersing myself in it... although I knew the placement abroad which I wanted so much was riding on my mark from this course. There were a couple road blocks in my way in this stage of my journey. Firstly, was my self induced stress and lack of time. This passed fall term myself and a couple other students from uWaterloo started up a club, Right to Play, where I became the lead, during this same period of time I was working a full time job and volunteering as a coach with Special Olympics. Being busy seems to be my nature but mid way through this term I was quite aware I had overexerted myself.  In the span of  about 10 days I  was overseeing/running Think Pink activities, the lead organizer on a fundraiser for RTP and assisting in our Beyond Borders Music for a Mission night. E GAD. I had taken on a lot of responsibilities and was in deeper than I had been for a long time. The other reason that I had a hard time committing myself to the first term of Beyond Borders class was that I didn't want to risk investing myself in a cause that I might never get to experience. I really don't fully understand my reasons for this but I think I just didn't want to get my heart broken if it didn't work out.

The second term was a term of experience and more self discovery. We spent out time volunteering and blogging primarily with some group discussions here and there. Our volunteer placements were at the working center (a place I have grown to absolutely love and respect) in various areas. I was stationed at the Queen St. Common's Cafe. I can see reasoning behind the inclusion of a local volunteer aspect of the portion: learning about stepping outside of our comfort zone.. and the now famous phrase 'getting comfortable with  being uncomfortable'. I think one of the things that really sticks with me about my time with the working center is the new prospective I was given from my time there. What do you think about when you think of Kitchener? I think a lot of people, especially those who were raised in Waterloo, see Kitchener as a run down and slimy. While some of this may be due to town rivalry but i think a lot of this stems from the fact that there are a lot of people who are begging on the streets. I saw that as a bad thing as I am sure a lot of other people did... but from my volunteer time with the working center I saw this situation in a totally different way. These people are in Kitchener because they have people in Kitchener who see them as people and open their doors to them and thats a beautiful thing. I think its interesting how we judge who is deserving of love and appreciation and who is not. I started thinking about this more to while at the working center and talking to my Beyond Borders friends about my experiences and theirs. Just because people may have mad some wrong choices, been taken down the wrong path or had unfair road blocks or experiences thrust into their life doesn't make them less worthy of love and appreciation. Our worries and insecurities should not keep us from reaching out to others who are different than us.
After all, as they say in Kenya "mtu ni watu" (a person is people)

I am very in tune with my emotions and accepting and understanding of them, however looking ahead the thing that worries me most is how my low moments will be interpreted by others. I hope that like I try to be, others will understand that I have my imperfections and that makes me no less of a person.

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on another note
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with the help of LOTS OF AMAZING people I have not only raised the $2000.00 to the Beyond Borders program I needed to go on this international placement but I have raise an additional $1400.00 !
I am VERY proud of everyone who made a contribution and happy to say your money will go towards great things for people who are in great need.

With this additional money I have been able to purchase a bunch of sporting equipment (jerseys, balls, pumps, pillions, goalie gloves) and equipment for the rehab clinic I will be volunteering at (braces, bandages, gauze, assistive devices, tensor bandages, resistance bands). I also have received a huge pile of shoes, some rugby balls and jerseys and shirts from special olympics. I also still have $300 which I will be using where I see fit while in Kenya. I really hope that we find a great way to use these materials fairly and in a way that is as sustainable as possible.

---------------------------
on another note
---------------------------

The one thing that I am still most worried about is how I will act to the ill treatment of people who I will grow to care about or even to people that I don't know at all. As I felt before I feel as though my approach will be to empower those who are being dis-empowered to the best of my abilities rather than confront the people who are dis-empowering these persons. There will be lots of updates on this topic to come.

Flying out in 2 days :)

Cannot wait to experience the world.
See you soon Kenya 

Opening Minds to Unconventional Thinking

The world is a crazy diverse place!
The issues faced by the world are complex!
Solutions don't have to be complicated although they need to be wise, carefully thought out and most of all creative!

It would surely take a much longer time than that allotted to writing one single blog to get a good idea of all of the  'development' ideas (to use a very umbrella term) that have been implemented around the world .. None the less I think it is safe to say that there have been A LOT of them. Also it is my understanding that a lot of the projects and endeavors that have a significant amount of money backing them are government funded projects. Like many government run initiatives the processes are slow and restricted by tight red tape. Whats 'safe', whats 'right' whats 'efficient' ect. These things need to be strictly adhered to in their way of operations.
Strict definitions of what is RIGHT and what is WRONG allows little room for development and growth.

I think creative spice has been missing from the development recipe for a long time and needs to be reintroduced. One such spicy man by the name of Michael Reynolds has opened his mind and in doing so created a NEW normal. He did so after the realization that houses hardly suited humans. He believes houses have become merely mass produced, bare minimum, poor quality housing units. In his mind mind there was much to be improved so that houses could begin to support humans again.

How is Michael Reynolds making a difference?
Michael is the designer of the species of houses called Earth Ships which are continually growing in popularity after after designs were halted after running into much red tape back in 2006. Earth Ships are self sustainable houses designed to live in eco-harmony. They incorporate their own solar heating (not solar panel... just straight up sunny rays), cooling, water, electricity and on site sewage systems. All of the sudden with Michael's Earth Ship your house is actually providing for you and you no longer have to work your ass off merely to live. All of the sudden you can live off the earths resources.. like good old times! go figure! Another interesting part about the design of these houses is that they use waste products which are in surplus as the main building material for the walls. Inside the walls are beer cans, car tires and water bottles! Although it does seem to take a fair bit of time to assemble an earth ship I believe it is time well spent as it takes a huge weight off the shoulders of our planet and the human. These houses strengthen the human - earth connection which has becoming increasingly distant in recent years. No longer will copious amounts of timber being used to build houses and will a power supply needed to support them. No longer will houses be dependent on the 'system' which is out of their control. I believe these houses give the power back to the people and our respect back to the environment.

Hopefully you see some promise in this unconventional thinking! :)
Hopefully you see the benefits that come from living in such a way! :)
... of course you may want to check things out a little before you agree with any of these points ... and thats fine too :) I encourage you to give it a look over for yourself. When you do so, please strip away your conventional thinking, what you consider to be your 'normal' and start asking yourself why that is your normal and is there something better out there? I agree that the Earth Ship name has a pretty 'hippie' peace and love ring to it and because of that many people may feel uncomfortable with the idea and bring pre-constructed prejudice to the table. But I think these are houses to be proud of and houses deserving of even 'professional' habitants.

Unfortunately  bureaucrats were not able to open their eyes and see the Earth Ship idea without seeing all the red tape. It took numerous years of Michael to get them to see the great promise of what he was doing! years! Their issue was mainly that the buildings were not 'up to code' and thus not safe. If it were not for one lady in the bureaucracy who was able to see the power of this type of housing it would have surely taken years if not longer to have his Earth Ships allowed under building code. In Michaels long battle to have the building of Earth Ships allowed he began to gain a great deal of publicity. Interestingly enough while long debates were going on in the US about earth ships people in developing areas hit by natural disasters were quick to act - make the call - and start the building of earth ships on their land. The Earth Ship design allowed people to become self sufficient and amazingly - turn rubble into beautiful housing. Haiti is one of the areas that has received the gift of the Earth Ship design and I encourage you to learn about the success of this project by following this link : http://earthship.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=736 which will bring you to a great short video documentary.

One man was brave enough to open his mind and embrace unconventional thinking. Some were brave enough to open up to his unconventional thinking. For those who have, have felt the power of these gifts and seen good emerge from them.

Our worlds changing - in some ways for the good and in some ways for the bad.
We have to continue to change and reinvent ourselves and our practice
We have to re-evaluate our norm
I believe this must be done with Creative Unconventional Thinking 

If you wish to learn more about Michael or his earth ships I suggest purchasing or downloading the video documentary "Garbage Warrior" or checking out his website http://www.earthship.org/

Thank you for your open minds.
Please share with me some unconventional ideas you have come across or some of your own! Or even spill the beans and let me know what you think about unconventional thinking!

Failure Report

Failure Report

It is not often that you will have the opportunity to hold in your hands a ‘Failure Report’ for a failure report is not something that is often broadcasts. These reports are synonymous with the dark past that people may carry with us but hide, as we believe the outside word perceives these ‘failures’ as being bad and unfavorable and thus something that should be hid. Surprisingly I have recently been handed a failure report which does just as the title suggests, reports on the failures. This particular report is that of the well-known and acclaimed group, Engineers Without Borders, from 2010. Immediately I was impressed with this brave stance to publicly acknowledge the mistakes that they have made.  I believe there is much that can be learnt by looking back at our mistakes as life is often a process of trial and error where very little goes quite as planned. 

William H.Gates Sr., Co-Chair, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation states in the forward of the report “…Engineers Without Borders (EWB) Canada continues its bold leadership on this practice, by highlighting several mistakes and failures made throughout the year and analyzing how they have learned and improved”

                                                                              

Of course as noted it is not merely enough to acknowledge the mistakes that have been made. For progress to occur these acknowledgements must be followed up by an analysis of what has been learned and how things can be improved. I think it would be beneficial for more organizations to publicly share similar experience as there is much to be improved upon in the world of development.

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I do applaud Engineers Without Borders for taking action and wish to share some insight which I gained from this report as told by individuals in various areas of the organization.

Luisa Celis, African Programs Staff Governance and Rural Infrastructure (Ghana), was involved in a program to enhance district data systems to facilitate evidence based planning and decision making processes in the Summer of 2010.

A project which I believe is of great value as it could provide good direction for many changes and programs to come in the future. Statistics also tend to be very lacking in areas of development because of the difficulty of collecting, thus I believe there is also a great amount of room left for improvements.

Luis learned ‘it’s not about the tools it’s about the process’ and that you must remember that the goal is not to give yourself a pat on the back for having the most successful idea, rather to enable the community as much as possible. Luis noted that in many cases there are already many ideas and reforms which have been implemented into communities (developing communities primarily) and that they begin competing against each other, which in the end is only detrimental. She suggested approaching the situation by offering something that they may choose to use and which may further strengthen what they currently have in place. The common approach seems to more usually be “we have the tool that works” and this need to be adjusted.

I believe the realization that your solution may only be one piece of the puzzle, and that there are currently other pieces at work is vital to the success of any new idea. Not only respecting the development progress of other organizations but even more importantly understanding the cultural processes which have always been in existence.

Mark Hemsworth, African Programs Staff, Agriculture Value Chains – Rent to Own (Zambia) provides some insight into mistakes made in the sector of customer service. Mark was the lead on the Rent to Own pilot project, a micro-leasing business, situated in rural Zambia and built on the acknowledgment of the inability for farmers to attain the machinery which they desired to increase productivity of their farming.

Mark found that the lack of education which people had on the topics of machinery usage and maintenance resulted in many costly problems for the project. He attributed this problem to his lack in investments in capacity and now sees that it is important to look at the whole picture and the individual stepping stones that will be needed along the way.

While I believe it is hard to act methodically, and thus slowly, when it seems like the issues which you are addressing call for immediate action and each minute you waste could mean the loss of another life. But while I believe organizations have the ability to have a very positive impact, I also believe that not taking time to consider all the details can leave an area in more devastation than when you/the organization arrived.

James Haga, Director of Advocacy Canadian Programs shared a valuable lessons on advocacy after the results of the ACT (Accountable, Creative and Transparent) campaign, during the G8 and G20 summit, did not result in as much action has he had hoped. His lesson was that simply having people support a set of principles does not result in action or change. He also suggested that for your message to be powerful you must have a plan of action to follow up on this support. 


The Indian Independence movement would have not been successful if Gandhi had not brought his people to action, rather had just preached about injustice. The action taken in this movement was also initiated by the movement leader Gandhi himself which sent an even stronger message to the people who had already agreed they supported the principles which his actions were based upon. I can find parallels in my life, as I imagine may others could as well to Jame's story. A great example of this would be facebooks online 'pettion' sites. While these sights do bring about great awareness about certain issues, the information concerning the issues are to easily accessible, simplistic and dumbed down. This means that people do not have to invest themselves in the cause and make an effort to understand the issue at hand or assess other points of view on the matter. It is too far to easy to 'support' a cause - with litterally one click of your mouse and give yourself a pat on the back - think you have made a difference and forget about it - never making any action.


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For everyone in the Engineers Without Borders organization that has shared their failures with myself and so many others...

THANK YOU


Similar to the events reflected on above, I am currently going through my own failure report of my own as I evaluate and look at my personal history and where I cracked under pressure. While I believe I have done an amazing amount of developing this year that has been very positive I also  have seen highlighted many areas for improvement. Like the Engineers without Borders failure report my self evaluation is not just about acknowledging the areas of failure but looking at what could have been improved or been changed so that this same 'failure' does not repeat itself. I acknowledge there are emotional situations in which I find my coping abilities greatly depleted and thus my abilities to carry out the task on hand. I acknowledge that this reaction is usually due to the fact that I become overly connected with the emotionally driven environment I am in and natural choose to think and act with emotion rather than logic. I acknowledge that I often underestimate the ability of my voice and message. I acknowledge that do not always practice what I preach. I acknowledge that I have the tendency to spread myself to thin as I try to invest myself in too many areas.  I too acknowledge that there are a lot of people who respect and admire the work I do (not tooting my own horn - just acknowledging the truth of the matter has it has been presented to me by many people) and that I need to continue to strive to help them take action themselves and also to share what I learn with these people. 


In acknowledging these things I have been able to think about what other roots I could take to reach more desirable outcomes and hope to strengthen some of these 'failures' while abroad in Kenya


I hope you accept me for my failures but will help me find a new path which will lead me to greener pastures. 


Life is full of learning .. you just have to be open to the experience. 

Fundraising is Painful and Scary

Fundraising is painful and scary even at the best of times - but oh so much more when you are fundraising for your own personal experience. While in my time abroad I will spend my time assisting others it is myself who will be assisting others, learning about the world around me and working towards my personal self discovery. While I understand many people may be happy for the opportunity to live through my experiences, and many wonderful donors have spoken to this thought, I cannot help but feel bad for asking for money from them ... to the point where I thought of fronting some of my 'fundraising' money from my own personal savings.

I am now very close to reaching my goal and so extremely thankful for the people who believed in me and the cause which I will be pursuing, enough to help me fund my volunteer placement. I believe I owe all of those who have helped fund my placement my full commitment to my placement through thick and thin. Their belief in me will be a driving force behind the energy and good vibes I hope to bring with me each day I am at my placement (on that note - do not fault me when I am unable *because I do not doubt that some days I will be unable* but know that I will carry on). I will also not allow this international placement to be the ending point rather I intend it to be an EPIC beginning from which much more will spread, and the knowledge and insight I gain in Kenya will be used to enlighten and inform people in my community in Canada.

I have always thought that I wanted to work internationally in developing nations, and I believe a lot of the reason for this ambition was driven by the belief that the people in the developing world desperately need saving, and my saving in particular.  Meanwhile the world is full of problems and it is the ones which are most broadcast that our thoughts regularly drift to. One of those countries whose issues are greatly publicized is Africa.

Suffering is hard to define for I believe it is an individuals experience and often is subjective to the lifestyle and history of the individual, and thus it is hard to decide who's suffering needs the most relief and who may need the most assistance in finding this relief. Canada is hardly without its set of problems and individuals who are greatly suffering within this great nation (overall , yes I believe this is an amazing nation although I may be picking out some of its flaws). Although many people may not think of Canada as a place of suffering overall most people would to some level agree that there is some suffering in Canada. After all human's are human no matter where in the world you are - and with human tendencies come both the good and the bad. Canada sees its fair share of substance abuse, domestic violence, discrimination (sexism, ageism, raceism ect), unemployment, homelessness and the list goes on. Although it may be safe to say that there are less people suffering in Canada than in most African, or developing, countries the numbers suffering are still staggering. While as I mentioned suffering is difficult to quantify or even qualify, as defining suffering is near impossible, and often hidden under the surface, I feel as though the number of homeless people may be a good indicator of suffering. I believe that homelessness is a good indicator of suffering because it is usual from substancial suffering that people are driven to live on the streets and it may be this continual suffering, or perhaps another form of suffering which keeps them on the streets. Many of the situations associated with suffering which I listed above such as substance abuse, unemployment, domestic violence ect. may have been experienced by people who are homeless at some level, or for a significant period of time in their life. You might find some fault with this level of measurement and comparison, for there are without doubt some errors in this marker of suffering and I acknowledge these but feel like it is a visible, thus countable marker that is associated with variety of sources of suffering.
Canada's National Secretariat on Homelessness estimated that homelessness "affects approximately 150,000 in Canada, although other reports identify as many as 300,000 homeless in Canada"  (IntrapSpec.ca, 2011).
(http://intraspec.ca/homelessCanada)
Stats on homeless rates in Africa are not nearly as reliably collected as there are many barriers to doing so however I was able to find a couple quick useful stats:
-  In Cameroon more than 7000 people, most of who were low-income earners were left homeless in 2008 when the government carried out mass forced evictions and demolitions against the inhabitants of the City of Yaoundé (ofcourse because this is forced homelessness the conditions are not necessarily similar to the normal of homeless people in Canada and other areas)
-  capital of Kenya – Nairobi has approx. 4 million inhabitants. More that 70% of these people live in slum areas. Although this does not mean these people are homeless it does mean that these people are living in less than desirable accommodation.
(http://fairkenya.wordpress.com)


Looking at these figures alone it would be safe to say in quantity there are more individuals who are suffering in Africa than in Canada. Although this does sway me to dedicate my time and energy to helping these people I feel as though being Canadian born I owe it to people of my country to use this time and energy to help them. The jury is still not entirely out on this one but I think I may be coming closer to reaching a decision.

When speaking of suffering I believe it is also important for us to recognize and examine what we see as the 'poster child' for human suffering. Societal discourse has lead us to recognize certain things as suffering and through media especially we associate certain  feelings with certain 'types' of suffering and in doing so create feelings of compassion towards some types of suffering and stigma towards others. Like many other scenarios, such as mental health, the things that are the least visible are often the most misunderstood and least cared for. I am sure most of my readers would be able to associate a visual image to a World Vision commercial and it would most likely look something like; a young child taking care of his/her siblings, their undernourished body sitting on the ground, while flies fly around. Because of constant media attention this scenario is the one with which we most readily associate with suffering and thus draws the most compassion. Youth who have be subjected to a very unfavorable lifestyle who have no to little control over their circumstances draws a lot more open arms than a elderly person suffering from dementia. If I really want to help others I need to keep my mind open to the different forms in which suffering can come.

To to sum things up fundraising sucks!
BUT I believe great things will come out of this experience for which those who have supported me in this endeavor will be very proud of :) I will make sure of it!

As for how I plan to live out my life and in which ways I hope to help others...
(although time will tell) I think I want to do BOTH international work and local work! Easy solution eh?! I think the key things which I wish to bring attention in the context of this decision is that I believe both developing countries AND Canada could use some help here and there, by working in both areas I can also have the opportunity to exchange information, knowledge and inspiration between areas in different countries which I believe may have more of an exponential affect than anything else I can do.

and as a new favorite quote of the group  would say: "with great power comes great responsibility"

whats wrong with you

....somethings wrong with you. Let me fix it


who really needs fixing?
and what is the real goal of 'fixing' and making improvements also know as development?


In the end I believe it is a high quality of life that everyone hopes for themselves and others. But again, what does quality of life really mean? Understanding this question will further the success of any development people set out to create in an area were we see much that needs to be fixed. I believe quality of life means having a glowing prospering inner self (soul, spirit, mind or what ever you prefer to cal it) and protecting this inner self. There are many ways to strengthen ones inner self  such as love, support, hope, educational or spiritual enlightenment. There too are many ways to protect this inner self such as education, good food and water and health care. This is the idea that your body is a temple, all religious connotations aside. 


I would say that a prosperous and vibrant inner self and the means to protect it is the most important thing we can give people and this should be the primary focus of any 'development' pursuit. When your time comes to leave the world what will you remember most and be most thankful for?


Interestingly, while I believe the greatest measure of quality of life being having a glowing, prospering inner self and be able to protect ones inner self it is obvious to me that many people of our 'developed' society struggle to have a good quality of life under this definition. Western society is depressed, desensitized, unfulfilled and stressed with anxiety and worry. While we may have the means to protect our temples (good health care, education and access to clean drinking water and food ect.) the temples which we work so hard to protect are battered, bruised and exhausted. 


In many of our previous Beyond Border classes while discussing development and the idea of assisting others in developing countries an interesting and valid train of thought emerged. How can we be the ones to say what is right and what needs to be done when we are not even doing these things or doing these things successfully on our own soil? We are undervaluing ourselves as natural beings and under valuing our needs as natural beings throwing quick fixes at each other like gifts, distracting our aching spirits with constant stimulation and telling ourselves that we are not alone and everyone feels like this rather than providing our spirits with real nourishment. 


Here's an interesting quote from Adbusters, Capitalism's Terminal Crisis Issue that talks to this train of thought


"During a dinner with friends the talk turns, as it often does these days, to the problem of anxiety: how it is consuming everyone; how the very technologies that we have developed to o save time and thereby lesson anxiety have only degraded the quality of the former and exacerbated the latter; how we all need to "give ourselves a break" before we implode. Everyone has some means of relief - tennis, yoga, a massage every Thursday- but the very way in which those activities are framed as separated fromregular life suggests the extent to which that relief is temporary (if even that: a couple of us admit that our"recreational" activities partake of the same simmering, near obsessive panic as the rest of our lives). There is something circular and static to our conversation, which doesn't end so much as frazzle inderminately out." - Christian Wimon


I am so glad I came across these quotes (I was pointed in their direction after having a discussion about such things with a volunteer at the Queen Street Commons Cafe) as they take the words right out of my mouth but they lay these thoughts out in such an appealing and intriguing way.


While I believe there are many areas which assistance may benefit people in developing areas in protecting their 'temples', such as assisting with school supplies and educational foundations, providing clean drinking water sources ect. people in these 'developing' countries need the power of their spirits and souls recognized and respected. Its interesting, while I hear so much about the negative issues surrounding developing areas such as Kenya everyone that I have spoken to that has gone to this country is much quicker to speak about the amazing spirit of the people of Kenya far before they care to mention the negatives of the area and its 'development'. Their spirit flourishes without fancy cars, 3 story houses, air conditioning, hydro, hot water and for some even much more. 


This brings me to another remarkable quote which I believe expresses with great clarity my thoughts wealth being incongruent to wellbeing. 


"Imagine the problem is not physical. Imagine the problem has never been physical, that it is not biodiversity, it is not the ozone layer, it is not the greenhouse effect, the whales, the old-growth forests, the loss of jobs, the crack in the ghetto, the abortions, the tongue in the mouth, the diseases stalking everywhere as love goes on unconcerned. Imagine the problem is not some syndrome of our society that can be solved by commissions or  laws or a redistribution of what we call wealth. Imagine that it goes deeper, right to the core of what we call our civilization and that no one outside of ourselves can effect real change, that our civilization, our government are sick and that we are mentally ill and spiritually dead - that all our issues and crises are symptoms of this deeper sickness." - Charles Bowden, Adbusters


what do you really want out of life?




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What happened to dreams?
We just live out of habit. 
I can never sleep... 
I only stare at the dream catcher
hanging from my ceiling


- Denise Mush

My Friends

Last week I posted about an article that I had read about the extreme mistreatment of persons with disabilities in Kenya, and thinking back to this article and topic makes me absolutely sick! Because I did not really elaborate on what was documented in the CNN news release I will give you a quick update here: The article was highlighting the disregard for human rights which was witnessed with people with disabilities in Kenya. They highlighted both the unjust treatment of people with disabilities in household and institutions. The later of these two was the most disturbing as they showed video evidence of the extreme mistreatment of people with primarily mental disabilities in an institution. Heavy sedated these people who called themselves 'prisoners' struggled to perform the most basic of task were receiving no assistance to improve their quality of life of wellbeing and disgustingly enough CNN broadcasters came across a person of the facility sleeping in his 'room' on the floor right next to a person who had died the day before. While for persons with physical or mental disabilities who were under the care of their family did benefit from what I would imagine to be more support and interaction their treatment was still not suited for a human being, in fact in Canada we often treat our pet animals better than the treatment documented. Two people with disabilities living with their family were shown tied to beds and trees, given very little stimulation and removed from the rest of society.

These people with disabilities shown in the news release are surely not much unlike the athletes who I coach and the athletes I call my friends. I would do anything in my power to help these people, because these people have beautiful hearts and beautiful bodies often in my books even surpassing that of any able-bodies person, but they often face challenges much greater than many others in communities which put great value on appearance and monetary success.

When I'm blue I often think of these athletes as a source of inspiration. There's always someone out there who as it harder than yourself and I find the idea of putting yourself in their shoes is a good exercise. This is not in any way to pity these people but to recognize the success of their spirit in overcoming and/or adapting to any physical or mental exceptionalities.

What are you afraid of?
- loosing your job?
- the idea of death?
- not being smart enough?

While these are serious and understandable fears the the athletes I coach may have these fears and more
- who will keep them safe once their parents die, because they may not be capable of doing this themselves
- the upcoming surgery they have to have
- having a stroke on the street on their way to work
- being taunted, ridiculed or singled out

Most of these athletes were born carrying a considerable burden on their shoulders, whether they recognize it as such or not (not to say this burden should be theirs... I believe it is societies build environment and 'norms' which burden people) and are often not on an even playing field as their able bodied friends when you consider the ability to carry out the tasks of every day living, and they need the support and assistance of others.

However assistance does not need to be a hand out, rather a hand up and onwards
When adjustments are made to equipment and teaching style we can give empowerment to youth with disabilities and see them succeed. Although there are beneficial medical treatment/surgeries such things can only change a person so much and once this level of improvement is reached it is no longer the individual who can change - it is time for the society around them to do so. Too, it is important to understand that the conventional order of treating the person first as the source of disease and problem is in not always the best approach, lots of success can come if the environment and society around them changes too.

This past weekend I took my coaching to the next level! I traveled with the Special Olympics snowshoeing team to Huntsville for the 1st open to all race/last race of the year (not nearly as many snowshoeing meets are available as there are track and field races in the summer) and I got to spend two 4 hour drives + a night over + a day of racing with the group of athletes in attendance. Merely looking at the level of commitment these athletes show to their cold, uncomfortable and definitely not easy winter sport deserve a lot of respect.  On a humorous note it ended up being my abilities that were put up to the test and ... unfortunately seemed to lack luster at this track meet. One athlete in particular has shown himself to be extremely dedicated and hard working over the course of the season, and from it has come great success as we have seen his distances increasing as his times decreased. Unfortunately this athlete has an additional challenge, on top of merely running in unstable cold conditions in snowshoes, he also has to maintain a perfect balance between pushing hard and challenging his boundaries and staying on two feet, as he is very prone to passing out. To help I jumped in, with the hope that my presence would keep him calm and avoid fainting. Luck for me this was the weekend that this athlete decided to again challenge himself entering into the 1600 (furthest previous race done was the 800m) as the only participant. From the moment myself and this athlete lined up on the starting line I knew he was going to be pulling me through the race, and my predictions were true. On a few occasions I considered slowing down and even giving up (I was embarrassingly tired :S.. but hid it well :S) and it was without a doubt the athletes strength, determination and passion that pulled me through the race.

Like the strength and determination shown by this depicted athlete, it is my belief that great abilities and strength lies inside of all of us and they just need the to be given the opportunity to come out. Look at our Paralympians for an example, their feats of strength, agility and determination are nothing to be pitied, in fact many able bodied people may feel dwarfed by the greatness of their accomplishments.

But when it comes to the treatment of people with disabilities in Kenya do I deserve to feel sick? Is it their fault? Are my expectations fair? Enabling people with mental and physical disabilities is not always a simple task. It can not be denied that they on most occasions need more assistance than people who are able bodied, at least during their development, as they learn to understand their body and mind and how it operates in relation to the environment around them. Of course too it cannot be denied that many more aggressive and expensive forms of assistance such as corrective surgeries and medications often used in Canada are unattainable for people in developing areas. But I believe there is so much that can be done and is assistance that can be given that is within reach of even the people living in the slums.

The goal when giving assistance, whether through invasive medical techniques or simple interactive means, is to eventually become obsolete, where the skills of the teacher are out done by the student.  However to reach this stage I believe two primary things are needed, and these things fall into two basic categories: Materials and Societal understanding and acceptance. Often people with physical and/or mental disabilities will benefit from assistive devices. These devices are not crutches, they are not for people with problems, they are just for people who's needs are not like that of 'normal' society and their complexity can range from more complex computer aided speech devices to simplistic easy to grasp tools such as extra wide pencils. Unfortunately implementing these tools does not appear to be common practice in Kenya and due to a lack of support and awareness most of these persons are institutionalized (especially those with mental disabilities) or separated from others. Although the National Council for Persons with Disabilities (NCPWD) was set up in Kenya in 2004 following the Persons with Disabilities ACT in 2003 (a comprehensive law covering rights, rehabilitation and equal opportunities for people with disabilities) there are countless accounts of people who have received a lack of support from the government.

I would believe there would be benefits to keeping children with their families, primarily for emotional reasons, as I have seen both the amazing growth in children with supportive families and the emotional baggage carried by those who are not. However I am not sure if it is fair to say that parents should be taking care of their own children who have disabilities as there is a significant burden to come with this responsibility. Its becomes more than just an issue of a lack of government support and develops into issues of social injustice. Families are often outcast and unwelcome, forced to keep their children hidden away and even in some cases chased out of neighborhoods. It is clear that the burden faced by families with children with disabilities and the people themselves are greater than that faced by people in Canada. These issues speaks to the issue of societally created stigmas against people with physical and mental disabilities. Although things may be getting better as we see the voices of people with disabilities represented in public policies and government agendas. Societal stigmas must be removed for people with disabilities to have the opportunity to showcase their skills and abilities. Unfortunately it seems like vicious circle that is hard to break. How will society ever see them as able citizens if they are not given the support and materials they need to develop and use their skills and how will they ever receive this if society never changes their view and stigmas towards people with disabilities.

While I will not lower my standards of treatment and respect for persons with disabilities I will have to understand the circumstances in which treatment is being provided to these people in Kenya. In class discussions we have touched on the issue of coming into action in moments of (in our view) injustice such as child neglect and spousal abuse and when it is appropriate and when it is safe. While the risks of such action are apparent in most situations (primarily I would imagine this threat to be that of retaliation), there are no clear lines regarding when to act and when turn your gaze. The cultural belief concerning the appropriateness of said westerly unfavorable behavior in the context of the Kenyan society should be considered. However no matter how common place things like spousal abuse and abuse to persons with disabilities may be in any area  it is clear to me that the value for human life is not being upheld, and this is not justifiable.

Although I cannot say for certain which level of ability or disability the people I will work with in Kenya will have I am under the impression that a significant percentage will be facing challenges due to either congenital or attained physical and/or mental disabilities (my roommate, born in Zambia believes I may see many injuries and deformities attained due to violence which erupted around 2007 around political elections). Too I cannot for say for certain how I will confront mistreatment of these people if I witness it, but I know I will do what is in my power to provide them with the materials, support and assistance I have available to enable them to live a successful and meaningful life.

This is perhaps the area which I am most interested in learning more about when it comes to life in the slums and in Kenya in general. While I do understand that my role is not to place my beliefs and cultural norms on the people of Kenya, and that a major focus of this placement will be about learning from the people, the empowerment of persons with disabilities is one are which I hope to make a little impact, hopefully empower those who do not match societies view of an 'able bodied' person.

News: A man on a Kenyan Mission

A great story that touches close to home for myself and other students traveling to the Kariobangi Kenya:

Retired Ottawa teacher sets out on a BIG mission to empower youth through education. Teacher, David Hall seeks to help orphans and children of single parents in Kibera (perhaps one of the largest slums in Africa which too lies just outside of Nariobi (similar to Kariobangi)) as he plans to build/expand a local school in the area. 

This project is scheduled for development for 2012!! Coming up soon! 

Its great to see that we have a strong and invested Canadian connection to helping people in this deserving area of Africa. 

of course there is a great deal of unknown important entities which will effect the success of this project and the applause which I am able to give David, such as how he chooses to run the school and how true he stays to the culture of the area... But assuming all things are done fair and just I am happy to see the dedication of ones energy, time and resources to such a cause :) 

Check out the article from Ottawa's citizen at http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/Building+classrooms+hope+Kenya/4388838/story.html

Inspiration to Move Forward

I like to think that the world remains in constant transition around a happy medium where all the bad in the world will find balance with all the good. And where we find the moments of stress and anxiety many, too are days of complete relaxation and accomplishment. Like the Chinese philosophy of Ying and Yang. Whenever one quality reaches its peak, it will naturally begin to transform into the opposite quality: for example, grain that reaches its full height in summer (fully yang) will produce seeds and die back in winter (fully yin) in an endless cycle (Wikipedia).

While I do not believe myself to be a religious person, I do embrace spiritual thoughts, and this is one of those which drives my life and which has the power to uplift my soul in times of when darkness seems to prevail within myself and/or around myself. This connects to my belief that the world is a flowing body of ever changing and interconnected energy fources, a body that few individuals are able to tap into completely. (On a interesting note – I came across a video recently in which a lady by the name of  Jill Bolte Taylor gives proof of the relatity of this concept in her TED talk, A Stoke of Insight… very worth checking out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU)

But this world can be dismal… and the paths to greener pastures can seem clouded and uncertain at even the best of time. This past week and sum I have found myself on a rocky coaster traveling up and down and around and around as I experienced exhaustion, inspiration, motivating, heart break, defeat, exhaustion, depression and hope.

I’m going to step back in memory lane as I look back at all has happened in the last little while.

Many weeks ago it was announced to myself that I had been named to KWs top 40 under 40 (!...?) The announcement was quickly followed by feelings of excitement and pride… and then shortly after I became very hesitant in accepting the award, felt undeserving and uncomfortable.  I knew exactly why I felt this way. I am surrounded by deserving people who deserved the acknowledgement just as much or perhaps even more than myself. I mentioned the award to almost no one as I hated the idea of tooting my own horn, for I do not do the work I do for attention nor to I ever want to put myself above others. While for a long time the award caused me more stress than happiness, I have recently jumped the fence to the other side… or am at least straddling the fence now J and much of this change is attributed to the support which I received from others. People were quick to congratulate me and found me deserving of this award, and  even people I didn’t know were congratulating me around campus. Now I see the award as a force to continue to move me forward, keep me inspired and let others know that KW is full of people who strive to make this a better place to live and that these actions deserve celebration.

While in this case both Ying and Yang have done their thing and all is well in one particular news release this week I found an even greater struggle between Ying and Yang… and every time my mind goes back to this story I find it hard to believe that a balance will be found, although the attention now brought to this issue does bring hope. The article I am mentioning is ‘Rights groups accuse Kenya of patient abuse’ by David McKenzie on CNN. The chilling stories supported by real life footage of the abuse of persons with disabilities (physical and mental) in Kenya make me absolutely sick, disgusted and frustrated. People with disabilities are the lights of my life, in fact as I write this I am waiting to depart for a weekend of competition and fun with the special Olympics snowshoeing team that I coach and cherish, as we head up north. I am thankful that these youth and adults have supportive families and communities which allow them to live their lives out to their fullest and appreciate their talents and abilities. I have witness these people have great physical successes, proudly represent their sport around the community, and work and enjoy of life of some independence. People with disabilities may not do things the way we do them, but they have the power to succeed if given the opportunity. In Kenya persons with similar disabilities to the people I coach are segregated from ‘normal’ people, locked in rooms, feared, unloved and un human. In the ‘mental health institute’ featured in this article reporters found persons confined there overly medicated, uncared for and even found one ‘inmate’ sleeping beside someone who had died the night before. Abelism seems to have Kenya in a death grip drawing a big black line to separate able bodied from disabled. Ying and Yang don’t seem to be in balance… yet.  I am hoping the new attention brought to this issue will bring change, and if given the opportunity I will work towards the cause of fair treatment in any way possible during my stay in Kenya. Perhaps Ying will find Yang soon for the people who have disabilities in Kenya. I suggest you take some time to read this article at http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/africa/03/02/kenya.health/

I think if I was to call this a spot on my weeklong rollercoaster ride I would call this the peak – where I have reached a comfortable plateau and for a split second feel comfortable but am becoming increasingly worried as to what leads ahead on the trip!

Then I realized my rollercoaster was headed down, down, down… slowly as if I was traveling through water.  Welcome to the world of depression… population 1…or so I felt. A good percentage of the world suffers from depression perhaps chronic or only temporary, and although all the facts tell you you’re not alone it’s hard to believe. Two days of missed school, avoidance of friends and lying in bed life felt uninspiring, uninteresting and dismal. But why, while so much good is going on in my life, could I not connect to any happy feelings. I still don’t know why exactly, although signs are pointing to having too many things on my plate and a distaste with school, and very dreary Ontario weather, but with the help of people I love and the realization that life is in my hands today … is finally a happy day! J and ying and yang are doing their thing!

I look back on this week + and wonder how this rollercoaster will compare to the rollercoaster awaiting me in Kenya. The realities of out of balanced yings and yang will surely be more apparent as instead of reading about them I will be immersed in them. I think I will have to adjust my expectations of ‘good’ and look deeper than the surface to uncover them and remain hopeful. To cope… well I am going to be leaning on my ability to find the good in the people around me and the work I will be doing, my ability to breath, and vent, whether in be through exercise, to a paper and pen or to my hopefully willing roomies J.

Maybe when I am feeling blue I can just look down… and remember that life will always be changing and with the changing world I will continually have to reinvent myself, but in doing so I must remember to always DO WHAT I LOVE J and friends and family… I suggest you do the same. 

I